The German invaders

I want to share with all of you this really amusing story that came up in the conversation on Friday during an orientation meeting I was attending for my summer internship in Germany.

We were having a question and answer break with two German interns who had just recently been hired by the German Chamber of Commerce for a year long internship. We were four American participants and we were curious to know some of the main cultural differences they had observed since they arrived.

One woman shared an anecdote she had recently experienced. A colleague invited her one morning to a concert that was taking place the following evening, offering to give her the extra ticket. Excited, she said she would love to come and marked it in her calendar. The next day, she asked this same colleague what time he would like to meet to go to the concert. She described his reaction as a mix of confusion and a sudden loss of memory. After a few seconds, he told her that in fact, he had another person coming with him so the ticket was no longer available. She felt hurt and disappointed, especially because her fellow German intern had asked her earlier if she would like to go out that same evening. She had declined the invitation because she had committed to going to the concert. The funny part of the story was when they both confirmed that in Germany, when someone invites you somewhere or when someone asks if you would like to do something, they really mean it or else, they would not bother to say so.

They left us with this little warning: "If you don't really want a German on your sofa, don't say it would be nice to have them over sometime. If you do, then be prepared to have a German knock on your door and eating your snacks."

I laughed at this little story because I can imagine this "German" showing up at some one's house, unexpectedly in your understanding but full of expectations from his understanding. Would that not be a great story line for a short movie?

I have myself experienced many, many cultural misunderstandings and continue to be amused and startled every time it happens. Why do we all understand things differently? Doesn't that in some ways reflect itself in our daily encounters on campus or even off campus? Luckily, they usually just provoke some slight momentary discomfort. I remember feeling confused as a child because I couldn't understand why everyone said hello to me in the US, having been accustomed to French cold shoulders or why I HAD to have both my hands visible on the dinner table in a French setting whereas at my grandmother' s in Virginia, that was considered a rudeness. She ate with one hand on her lap.

I still have not been able to get used to is calling a professor or a person with a higher position than me by his or her first name, ie a member of the school's faculty. Never, never could I imagine doing that overseas without shattering centuries of learned behavior.

I thought these observations would interest the class, as we have read novels about how meaningful gestures and behaviors can be and how a few small misinterpretations can alter one's story line.